BEING TWENTY ONE- SOMETHING

They call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself…and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends…maybe it will help someone feel like they aren’t alone in their state of confusion……..

i attended a Magic: The Gathering Pre Release Tournament today. all in all, it was an interesting learning experience as i was bubbling along, trying to figure how things are played. i’ve kept notes as the day went along, ala Bridget Jones’ Diary style. now if i can only find my notebook:

9:30am
odd. usually Forrest is on time.

9:35am
called. said he was running late.

9:45am
found bean bags. i’ll try to juggle them while waiting.

9:52am
almost mastered juggling. ohh — car pulled up! time to go!

10:40am
reached Aldergrove Community Hall and the organization of Starter Packs and Supplementary Packs begin. i find myself sitting in a table labelled 10-11-12 behind Matt and Forrest, whose on my right. i begin hounding them with my questions, pointing at several things at the card face and they banter to find out why i’m there. i honestly think that Evan felt uncomfortable because of my presence.

feeling peckish and began eating my cake. at first i was going to offer some, but after a few pokes at me, i decided to selfishly eat the whole thing for myself. ha!

organization of cards are arranged by color or “mana” and in alphabetical order. i’ll find out what the colors mean later. the team name of Matt, Forrest, and Evan is still unknown to me. i’ll ask later.

group in front are bantering what card is better. slightly humorous although i understand nothing.

10:50am
registration of decks. Forrest and Company still won’t reveal team name to me. i pretend that i don’t care to urge them to tell me, but it does’t work — bastards. i get the talk:

girls don’t go to MAGIC tournaments. so, really what are you doing here? you don’t understand the game, you’re not interested in learning the game, and you’re not dating a player and even if you are, they don’t stay very long … — Joe Sack Shibas

i wonder if they’re trying to tell me to leave. meh.
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i was going to write about my success in my audition at Jubilations Dinner Theatre, instead because i’ve spent my afternoon downloading pictures, i think i’d ramble on an annoyance of mine: BAD COSPLAYERS

I HATE HATE BAD COSPLAYERS! ARRRGH! *ahem*

a cosplayer or “costume player” are not only people who dress up in choice characters from popular series, but also maintain the same persona of the character they are portraying. for example, one may dress up and act like Xena, Warrior Princess in a convention of some sort.

what i consider bad cosplaying are people who are trying to portray someone who is completely out of their element in physical looks and in personality.

when people try to cosplay, it’s a good rule of thumb to try to portray someone that already closely resembles yourself. in doing so, transformation into the character is easy and unexpensive. however, if the transformation requires small changes to the physical appearance, that’s ok too. for example, hair color change is a small change that’s easy to do and relatively unexpensive. hair cuts is also a small change that could go a long way in the overall appearance.

in following this, you’re highlighting your best features with the character.

HOWEVER, people seem to disregard this almost intuitive rule. most people would pick the character they want to portray for the simple reason of “just because i want to”. (which is ok, but does nothing to the realism that cosplaying is suppose to achieve.) this is the reason why fat Gokus or scrawny Belldandys are walking around conventions to my dismay and disgust. let’s be honest with ourselves, no matter how much you might like the character, if you don’t resemble the character in a small way what makes you think you can adapt the character into your own features, huh?
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i’m going to try to see if i can type in japanese on my site. i think i can and i’d probably show up, but i’m going to try:

こんにちわ！日本語が読めるか？ あたしそのＳＩＴＥに日本語ができるかどうか分からないんだよう。それで、やってみよう！

i got my headshot done at an Edmonton Studio called Artistic Creations Photography Studio . it’s a wonderful studio located just two blocks away from the Jasper Place Grant McEwan Community College.

when i came in, i looked like a wreak and my hair fell flat against my head despite my morning attempt to volumize it. it was slightly dampened by the shower of rain but all in all i was in high hopes. i met Bill, my photographer, who later escorted me to the “White Room”. in there we spent the next 10 minutes posing and taking pictures, then i switched to a black backing and took another 10 minutes worth of pictures and posing.
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8:14am

a rude awakening from an early morning phone call from my parents abroad left me awake and a weeee bit cranky. ugh.

yesterday, i spent the day at the university and spent the night at Red’s at West Edmonton Mall. i spent $53 on my bus pass (unwillingly) and, since the bookstore was closed and i couldn’t buy a new clipboard, i headed out to my frat house to see if any of the other girls were there.

my sister-mom, Chris, was there back from cuba. she gave me a nice christmas gift — tickets for the next kokopelli concert sceduled in may — and a nice souvenier from cuba — a necklace that has a similar pattern to a posionous snake. i was completely taken unawares and i didn’t have anything for her which placed some guilt on me and my non-spending-cheap ass. (note to self: get her something nice.) we chatted for a while and then headed out to WEM.

i met up with my sister-grandma Nez, Bernie, and Bernie’s friends whose names i’ve only remembered for that night. Bernie finally turned 18 years old, so she’s happy she can come along the rest of the girls during the Powerplant’s Bar Night. it was fun. i ordered a spinach dip and chips and shared it with Nez. between chips we were discussing Lord of the Rings: Return of the King and it’s individual characters. we were also discussing the holidays, financees, and new years resolutions.

i went home to find my older sister over with her boyfriend sharing the Family Guy Season Two DVD set with my little sisters. instead of watching Dirty Dancing, which i borrowed from my sister-mom, i watched the remaining 6 episodes.

then i crawled off to bed. school’s tomorrow and i had only became satisfied with my schedule two days ago. i’m taking a science course with my friend Forrest as an elective. science as an option? ewwwww. but at least it’d be fun, i think.